


atonement in the locker room after hours

by missaa



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Catholic Guilt, Catholicism, God Complex, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Character Death, Questionable Coping Mechanisms, Sexual Content, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, degredation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 23:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20265925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missaa/pseuds/missaa
Summary: robert chase makes two mistakes in one day





	atonement in the locker room after hours

_ Heavenly Father, I made a mistake today. _

However Chase winds up pinned to the locker room wall with his boss’s lips all over his neck is irrelevant. What matters now is that he’s here, half-naked with only a towel to cover his modesty and cane callused hands traversing the narrow expanse of his torso. Tears are still leaving salty tracks on his cheeks, falling despite the swell of blissful arousal in his chest. He stifles a desperate moan into House’s mouth and claws at his shoulders, trying to bury himself in the feeling so he doesn’t have to think about dead bodies on operating tables or his fingers buried in aortic valves. 

“Chase,” House breathes, and Chase is acutely aware of the close proximity of their groins. He cants his hips up to increase pressure but House is angled back just enough to deprive him of the relief he’s after. He huffs a frustrated breath and compensates by reaching down to palm himself. House catches his wrist. “Patience, c’mon. Stop crying. We’re getting there.” 

_ I know I haven’t spoken to you enough. But I lost a patient on the operating table today, and I need to pray for her safe passage. She was so young. Only 15. She didn’t deserve what I gave her. _

“Oh, _ God—” _ Chase isn’t clear on why he’s saying it. House has a finger hooked under the towel and another finger against the sweet spot on Chase’s trachea, and he’s sucking deep bruises into inappropriately visible places. It feels like an _ oh, God _ moment. A moment he’s been aching for since he started this damned job, turned sour by the circumstances under which it’s happening. Not that he really minds _ how _it happens. “House, please…” 

Long fingers delve into Chase’s mouth and follow the line of his tongue all the way back to his throat. He sucks on them while House nibbles on the sensitive skin of his earlobe, stubble grazing Chase’s clean shaven jaw. He whimpers around the fingers and suddenly they’re past his tonsils and Chase is gagging. 

“Quiet,” House mutters, pulling back and reaching down to grip Chase’s cock. “You make more noise than a hooker. And I’m not even paying.” 

_ Her heart exploded. Her aortic valve ruptured in the middle of surgery and she bled out before I could react. Before anyone could even find the bleed. She flatlined in less than ten seconds. _

“Touch me,” Chase manages around a sharp intake of breath. “Please, House, I need—”

House cups Chase’s cheek, while the other hand squeezes his cock just enough that it knocks the air from his lungs. God, he’s already so hard, so close just from being touched by House, and he’s sure that reveals something about him that he doesn’t want to know, a discovery he can wait to make. He bucks into the hand; House denies him, yet again, the sweet relief of friction. 

_ I had to tell her parents, after. It was horrible. Her mum looked so… hopeful. And after I told her she just… started screaming. She grabbed me and pleaded with me to fix it, and her father… he just got up and left. He didn’t even say anything. I think I really wanted him to say something. _

When he finally does start jerking him off, House is deliberate. Calculated in the way he moves, the way he ghosts his lips over any length of exposed skin he can get at, even in the way his free hand keeps both of them steady on the wall. Chase whimpers like a kicked puppy. He wouldn’t be surprised if House left him here before he finished, fully hard and even more miserable than when House found him in the locker room in the first place. 

“Do you think this’ll absolve you?” House asks calmly, and his hand starts moving just a little faster. “Do you think if you come, you’ll have a clean slate? Do you think it’ll make the kids parents feel better?”

“No, no, I _ ghh—” _Chase tries to squirm, but House holds him in place. The wall is freezing behind him, but his insides are burning. “Please, please, I need this, House, please…” 

“Begging isn’t going to do you any good,” House says in a clipped tone. He hardly even sounds aroused, and he might not be, but Chase would know if he could just… _ touch, _ if he could find some intimacy in the person practically fucking him in a public place where anyone could just walk in at any time, _ oh— _“Relax. You’re not coming yet. Hold still.” 

Finally, House begins properly jerking him off, and Chase practically melts into the sharp contours of his body, letting his hand work in the tight space between them. Every muscle in his body tenses; House’s mouth is on his and he kisses back so frantically he’s sure he isn’t getting enough air. He could pass out, and it would be worth it to have everything stop like that for the split second it would take him to regain consciousness. _ Fuck, _ he’s _ so close, _just a little more pressure and the edge is right there and House’s hand is grabbing him, guiding him straight over it. 

_ I still had some of her blood on my scrubs. I got sick, after that. I scrubbed myself so hard in the shower that I bled, and it just reminded me of… I can’t stop thinking about that family, about… what I did to them. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I did everything right and it wasn’t enough. _

Chase is sobbing into House’s shoulder when he comes into his hand, biting down hard enough on House’s shoulder to tear the fabric of his vintage-soft Jethro Tull t-shirt. He babbles incoherently and tries to crawl inside House’s skin, escape the ringing in his ears and the sudden, soul-crushing despair dragging him further towards Earth’s core. He comes so hard it feels like he’ll never stop, like all of it’s being siphoned from his very center, the only thing holding him together, and he’ll have dissolved into nothing by the time he’s done. 

“My turn.” He’s dimly aware of House’s hardness pressing into his hip, giving him no time to bask in the afterglow of his own orgasm. “You’re not done yet. Get on your knees.” 

“I’ve never…” 

“You’re a fast learner. Get on your knees.” 

Chase nods and kneels on his discarded towel like a hassock. He tongues House’s cock like a communion wafer, and getting him to come will be the wine. 

House tastes like sweat and musk. He’s uncircumcised, and seeing such an intimate part of his someone who, previously, had no intimate parts at all makes Chase want to sprint naked out of the locker room. But he also has to stay, has to know what happens when House falls apart. So when House’s fingers thread through his still-wet hair, when he whispers bittersweet encouragements through clenched teeth, Chase does not falter. He lets himself be worked up and down on House’s cock, relishes in the sounds that House makes whenever he stumbles into something that feels good. It’s awkward, clunky, and Chase finds after a moment, almost beautifully disgusting. 

_ It’s never enough. _

House comes undone in minutes, and Chase swallows every last drop of _ wine _that spills down his throat. 

_ And what’s worse, when… when I was sitting in the locker room, House came in and found me there. He just stared at me for the longest time, I… I’m stalling. I’m stalling because I don’t want to admit I slept with my boss. You already know, but I don’t want to admit it to… to _myself. 

Chase rests his forehead on House’s thighs and breathes in tandem with him, ragged and unsteady and still undeniable desperate. His fingernails dig little crescents into the backs of House’s legs through the bunched fabric of his boxers. Exhaustion starts to creep in, pushing the once overwhelming guilt and fear to the back of his mind for the moment. It pokes at him, but it is lessened. He feels a prickle in his tear ducts again for a different reason. 

_ I have no idea what to do now. _

“Better?” House asks after a long moment spent in loaded silence. He’s stepping back, reaching for his pants and leaving Chase kneeling on the ground with his hands suspended in front of him. He does the natural thing, clasps them together and sets them on his knees. “That wasn’t an atonement. Now stop praying. God can’t get you off like that.” 

Chase grimaces. Nods. “Yeah. I’m alright now.” He wipes the tears and spit from his face. “I’ll… see you tomorrow.” 

_ Because I think I might have felt something for him. Something I’m not ever supposed to feel towards… well. _

House snags his cane from its place leaning against the wall and repositions himself so most of his weight is resting on it. When he looks down at Chase, his gaze is warm. Open. And for one second, he looks like he might say something that’ll change Chase’s entire life. 

Instead, he says, “No days off. Don’t be late.” 

_ Especially not towards someone like House. _

“I know. I won’t.”

_ And I can’t live with myself if that’s true. _

**Author's Note:**

> you already know what the fuck goin on. [tumblr](https://miisssaa.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (i was very hesitant to post this on account of the fact that it's straight porn with very minimal plot, but i hope it satisfies the chouse content cravings for now)


End file.
